An Open Letter to McMenamins.

Greetings,

I am a long time fan of your McMenamins establishments. Your restaurants and pubs have built a well deserved reputation for quality gastropub-style cuisine and excellent microbrewed fare. I've been going to the McMenamins located here in Bend since it opened, and have generally been nothing less than pleased with my experiences.

However, the last two visits my friend and I have made to the Old St. Francis location have been off-putting to say the least, and I am deeply concerned by what I see as one of my local favorites slipping severely in quality, and unless steps are taken to significantly improve the standards of the place, neither of us foresee ever returning.

The first of these two visits, which occurred a few weeks ago, we walked out almost as soon as we entered, as from the moment we walked through the front door, we were immediately assailed by the pungent reek of what I can only identify as raw sewage. So repulsed was I that I insisted to my companion that we leave immediately, and we wound up dining elsewhere that afternoon.

Tonight however, I decided to give the place another chance, in part because it was a rather late hour, and few establishments were open at this time. This time we entered through the rear hotel entrance, and once again, upon entering, I picked up a distinctly toilet-like reek, though much milder than my previous encounter, and while my initial reaction was to leave yet again, my companion wrote it off as perhaps an overflowed toilet in one of the guest rooms, so we pressed on to the dining room proper and were relieved to be greeted with the smells of cooking food.

After a delightfully short wait we were seated, but from there, the problems began to pile up. The service was terrible. Once seated it took at least 10 minutes for our actual server to come around to take our drink orders, and it took longer still for them to actually arrive, despite the fact that both of us, from our vantage point, could see them waiting at the bar for the vast portion of this time. Our drinks themselves, a couple of root beers, were remarkably unpleasant, brackish things which I only stomached simply because the water, which didn't arrive until sometime after the soft drinks did, were significantly worse.

After a good wait further, our server again reared his head to take our dinner order. We ordered the Cajun tots as an appetizer, and two "Communication Breakdown" burgers with bacon and fries.

The Cajun tots arrived and were, for the most part, as good as always, if a bit unusually crumbly. Our burgers, on the other hand, were spectacular in no respect but in the magnitude of their mediocrity. My burger was utterly and completely tasteless, and my friend's was, in addition to tasteless, apparently dripping with a ridiculous quantity of grease. The fries, in both cases, with the same, which is to say utterly soaked in grease, and completely soggy. They honestly seemed rather more like they'd been boiled than fried, and then quickly tossed in a cold pan with some old fryer oil from the week before.

Disappointed with the quality of our meal, but still optimistic enough to brave the inevitable long wait it seemed to take the staff to accomplish anything whatsoever, we decided to order the bread pudding, a menu item that, like the tots, we've both traditionally almost always ordered, because it is generally fantastic.

It wasn't. In fact, it was the single most unpleasant thing we were served the entire evening. Presentation wise, it looked like a plate of baby vomit. Rather than the firm texture I have come to expect, it was rather a mushy pile, sitting in the midst of some curdled cream and crowned what appeared to be a to be a hastily added topping of ice cream that had completely melted to soup in the massive wait before it arrived at our table, and yet, despite it having melted, upon tasting it we were rather alarmed to discover that the dish was still ice cold in the middle. While we were warned the dish would be rather rich, an observation that bore out with previous experience and made me quite hopeful in fact, it was in fact, so mushy and bland as to be almost insubstantial.

I wish to mention further, at this point, because it surely played at least a part in how unpleasant some of the dishes served were, just how truly awful the service was through all this. Our "Server" we only encountered but a few times in the course of the evening, and only in the interest of occasionally bothering to come round with the rather ghastly excuses for beverages. Our actual food was delivered by a man who appeared to actually be one of the kitchen staff picking up the slack. Most of the waitstaff could be visibly seen gadding about socializing with their friend or other waitstaff, among them our server who at one point took a break to huddle up with several others for a long chat session that took up most of the time we were there. At another point, thanks to the visible window, we even witnessed another waitress (at least we assumed she was a waitress, even though she didn't appear to be dressed or equipped for the occasion) hanging about in the kitchen having a beer while she chatted up the only two cooks in the place, who similarly seemed to be spending most of the time horsing about.

And the resulting long waits were also all in spite of the fact that despite it being 10pm on a Saturday evening, and the downtown area being packed with people, the dining room was almost completely vacant. Not counting the waitresses socializing at a table near the entrance, I counted at most four tables besides ourselves.

As the final capper to the evening, my dining companion, whether due to the grease in his burger or the curdled nature of the dessert, or worse, some sinister and unseen microbial agent allowed to fester in the meal during it's frequent long waits under the heat lamp, became rather violently ill, and very shortly after leaving the establishment proceeded to evacuate the meal out of himself at a rather alarming rate.

Needless to say, I was mortified by the experience. The server was, at least, kind enough to credit us the amount of that truly godawful dessert, but the whole of the experience left me feeling more than a bit burned, and I am disappointed to say I will not be returning until I hear some form of report indicating that the restaurant has put due effort into mending its ways. I am sad to lose such a once wonderful spot in the Central Oregon dining scene, but it seems as if it is already on it's way out, if tonight's turnout was any indication.

I appreciate your time, and hope that in due haste your organization can remedy the deep problems that seem to be apparent in this once fine establishment.

Sincerely,
J Arcane*
jarcane@gmail.com

This is the actual letter sent to both McMenamins in Bend, as well as the home office, minus my actual name, which I do not use in public online discourse. Needless to say I was less than pleased with my experience.